Total Drama Prison
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Duncan and Harold end up in jail because Harold ratted Duncan out for a crime he committed and used unorthodox methods to restrain Duncan. Turns out the whole cast is in jail. With Chris as the correctional officer and Chef and Blaineley as the wardens, chaos is inevitable as the contestants fight to avoid the cooler. Collaboration with I'll Cover Angel and Collins.
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is a collaboration from myself and I'll Cover Angel and Collins. This is one the most messed up projects we have undertaken. There's a lot of smut, violence, drugs use, cursing and references to so many fucked up events among other things in this fic. Be warned, this fic is sinister on so many different levels. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I'll Cover Angel and Collins and I do not own **_**Total Drama**_**. We are not making a profit from writing this story.**

**DISCLAIMER 2.0: The events that happen in this fic are not to be repeated in real life. I've never been to jail before, but I do know that it is no walk in the park. Trust me on this one.**

* * *

One day, Duncan was drawing penises on every car he encountered on the street he was living on. Furthermore, the delinquent was using permanent marker. So far he drew dicks on every car in the neighbourhood except for one. Duncan went up to the car and smirked. He believed that he was going to get away with it as he always does ever since _Total Drama_ ended. But just as Duncan removed the cap from the marker, the unexpected happened.

"THOSE DO NOT LOOK LIKE HUMAN PENISES! THEY LOOK LIKE CROOKED ARROWS! IF YOU ARE GOING TO VANDALISE AUTOMOBILES THEN COULD YOU AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO BE ANATOMICALLY CORRECT?! GOSH!"

Duncan turned around. A horrible sight met his eyes. Right on the doorstep stood Harold. He was glaring at Duncan. Duncan mentally punched himself. How could he forget that his worst enemy was living in that house? But the delinquent stood his ground.

"Yeah? Well what are ya gonna do about it?" Duncan threatened, raising his fists.

"I've already done something about it! Gosh! You're such an idiot, Duncan!" Harold snarled.

"You WHAT?!" Duncan growled.

"I've called the police," Harold informed him. "I told them what an idiot you are for being completely incapable of drawing penises and that you should be locked up because stupidity is contagious."

"You, you bastard!" Duncan cursed Harold.

"I'm not a bastard," Harold corrected Duncan. "My parents got married before my eldest sibling was conceived."

"Well I'm outta here! See ya!" Duncan turned around and took off. But Harold was having none of it. He chased after Duncan.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE! YOU HAVE TO FACE YOUR PUNISHMENT! IDIOT!" Harold called after Duncan. Duncan responded by giving his pursuer the middle finger.

...only to run into a pole.

Harold caught up with the delinquent and tied him up to the pole with a rope he had in his pocket.

"What are you doing?!" Duncan shrieked.

"Detaining you, in case you decide to be an idiot again and run away," Harold replied, as if the answer was obvious.

"You do realise you could get arrested for that," Duncan warned Harold.

"Only if the cop who's arresting you is an idiot," Harold shrugged.

Soon enough, a police car showed up and parked near Duncan and Harold. Duncan's father stepped out of the car, scowling. "Duncan, what did you do this time?" he demanded. Before Duncan could respond, Harold cut him off.

"Your incompetent son does not know how to draw male human genitals on vehicles despite having male human genitals himself, effectively rendering him an idiot."

"Is this true, Duncan?" Duncan's dad glared at his son. "Did you draw obscenity on other people's cars?"

"All I know is I would've gotten away with it if that fucker didn't tie me up!" Duncan scowled.

"Don't worry; I'll be arresting **both** of you," Duncan's dad scoffed as he unbounded Duncan from the pole, only to slap the cuffs onto his son's wrists.

"What?! You're arresting me as well?!" Harold shrieked.

"You have no legal authority to be detaining people like that," Duncan's dad lectured.

"You're just like you're son!" Harold scoffed. "Now I know where he gets his stupidity from!" Before Harold could say more, he got cuffed as well.

* * *

The journey to the police station was a nightmare for Duncan and his dad. Harold kept spewing random facts about stuff they were not interested in. The torture continued at the station. Harold's 'amazing facts' were pissing everyone off. Harold's parents refused to bail him out, and Duncan's dad and mam decided that Duncan should not be bailed either because they were sick and tired of dealing with his arrests.

The trial was held a week later. Duncan was sentenced to six months in prison for vandalism. Harold was originally sentenced to four months in prison, but was ultimately given the same sentence as Duncan. They were immediately escorted out to the place where they'd be spending the next six months.

Wawanakwa Penitentiary.

Duncan and Harold were introduced to the correctional officer, Chris McLean. He was wearing the usual attire correctional officers wore, which was similar to that of a police captain.

"Wait a minute… you work at a prison now?!" Duncan scowled.

"Hey, I gotta make money somehow," Chris shrugged. "Since Chef is so eager to see you, I figured he should get you prepared for your sentence before Harold."

"Typical," Harold shrugged. "The writer's pet must always be an idiot! GOSH!"

Chef Hatchet showed up. He wore the usual attire prison wardens wore, which is similar to that of a security guard. Duncan would never admit it, but it did make Chef look pretty butt. And handsome too. Anyway, Chef took Duncan away. After Chef dragged him into a room a few corridors from the entrance, Duncan was stripped out of his clothes.

"You have a nice body," Chef smirked at Duncan.

"Uh... thanks?" Duncan asked, slightly crept out.

"You're welcome. Now it's time to inspect you for drugs." Chef immediately pushed Duncan stomach down onto the table. Without warning, Chef inserted his finger up Duncan's anus. Duncan let out a yelp, but Chef continued to finger him. After around twenty seconds Duncan began to feel comfortable. Probably too comfortable. He let out a low moan as Chef probed deeper. After Chef withdrew his finger, he flipped Duncan over on the table.

"Uh... sir, I think you are sexually harassing me," Duncan protested.

"Just relax," Chef assured the delinquent in a seductive tone. "Open your mouth wide as I inspect your mouth," he added, turning on a torch. Fearing Chef would do something far worse to him than what he is doing now, Duncan opened. Chef inserted the same finger he inspect Duncan's mouth.

"I'll be supervising the male wing of the prison," Chef informed Duncan. "Just to make sure you're safe. Now the inspection is done, so I'm gonna put on yer uniform for ya." Duncan cringed, but Chef went and ahead and put the orange prison uniform on him. Duncan was also horrified at the thought of Chef watching him.

"Now it's time to bring you to your cell," Chef told Duncan. He led Duncan to his cell and locked him in. "You kids have fun," Chef laughed.

"Hello Duncan," smirked a familiar voice.

Duncan turned around. "Mal!" he gasped.

"Remember me?" Mal smirked, stepping out of the shadows. "We used to be cellmates in juvie three years ago."

"You got me in all sorts of trouble, you bastard!" Duncan snapped.

"Too bad," Mal teased. "And just so we're clear, I make the rules of this cell."

"I play by my own rules!" Duncan shouted.

"Lucky for you, the only rule is that if we have sex in here, I get to decide who's on top and who's on bottom," Mal stated. "If I want to be on top, I will. If I want to be on bottom, you'd better give me a satisfying experience. Oh, and don't ever touch my stuff without my permission. You know and I'll beat the shit out of you," he added.

"You said there was only one rule," Duncan smirked.

"Unless you want to relive the memories from when we were 16 I'd suggest you'd not touch my stuff," Mal glared.

Duncan huffed. "Fine," he glared back. "But don't you dare touch my stuff without my permission!"

"I'll agree to that as long as it's not your junk," Mal smirked, staring at Duncan's crotch. Duncan noticed this and was crept out again. He was not going to like it here.

* * *

Down the hall on the female side of the cells Beth was being shoved down the hallway by a guard until they reached a room. Once the door slammed shut, Beth was face to face with Blaineley.

"I shouldn't be here!" Beth sobbed "I only stole ONE candy bar! I did it for Justin!"

"Look where that got you." Blaineley laughed and walked over to Beth and grabbed the girl, slamming her up against the table in the room and pulled her pants down. "Time for a cavity search."

Before Beth had a chance to say anything, Blaineley took her perfectly manicured red nails and placed a glove on her hand before inserting two fingers in Beth's hole, making Beth squirm and Blaineley laugh as she moved her fingers around inside the girl longer. Truth be told, it was obvious that Beth was clean but Blaineley liked seeing her squirm. Once Blaineley was done she removed her fingers from Beth's asshole and placed the same gloved hand in Beth's mouth.

"I thought these were removed." Blaineley sighed. "You still have braces?"

"I needed to get them back on..." Beth complained. "I hate them!"

"Good." Blaineley laughed. "Braces can be ripped out of your mouth and used as a weapon, so I'm going to write on your chart to have them ripped out of your mouth as soon as possible. I would love to do this now but I just got my nails done, I'm sure Chris will enjoy ripping these out."

"You can't do that!" Beth yelled. "My parents paid good money for these!"

"Yeah and you wanted to buy candy and ruin them." Blaineley threw a jumpsuit type outfit at her. Beth put it on as Blaineley instructed her to throw her old clothes on the floor. The outfit that she was wearing felt like a burlap potato sack.

"I did it for Justin!" Beth yelled. Blaineley didn't care at all.

"Let's go, time for you to go to the cell." Blaineley escorted Beth down a long hallway and then to the end of the hallway. She unlocked the cell and shoved Beth in. Beth couldn't believe this was happening to her and it was all because of fucking Justin! Beth saw that Izzy was her roommate and she was scared, the last thing she wanted to do was have sex with Izzy and she knew that Izzy was known for that and most likely the reason she was there in the first place.

"Beth! Hi." Izzy hugged her. "We're going to have so much fun! I get the top bunk and you get the bottom! I hope you like being eaten out because I'm looking forward to it! But don't worry I'm not going to do it now, that's fun for later! It's almost time for lunch anyway! The guys are on one side and the girls on another! When we eat and have our hour of free time the guys and girls get to hang out! It's so fun, I'll have to find us someone to have a threesome with!"

* * *

When it was lunch time and everyone was getting their food, Duncan was trying his hardest to stay away from Harold and Mal, this was annoying him badly because it seemed like everyone from the show was there and he couldn't get away from any of them. He looked over to see Trent sitting at a table by himself and laughing, he was jealous of Trent and his ability to get people to leave him alone. Duncan found a table alone to eat at only to have LeShawna sit across from him.

"You too?" Duncan sighed.

"Yeah, everyone is stuck here." LeShawna played with her food. "I'm starting to think Chris is running a reality show and a prison at the same time."

"At least Trent gets people to leave him alone." Duncan sighed. "Harold's been bugging me and he's the reason I'm here."

"Trent is sitting with the number 9." LeShawna told him. "That's why nobody is sitting anywhere near him."

Duncan rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised? I bet I know how he ended up here."

"If you were correct, he'd be in an insane asylum instead of here," LeShawna laughed.

"How did you end up here anyway?" Duncan asked. "I drew dicks on people's cars just for the fuck of it."

"I was accused of 'assault'," LeShawna huffed. "Harold hit me for being an 'idiot', so I hit him back. It was a spur of the moment. Harold cried, reported me and when I gave my side of the story, the court would not believe me just because I was stronger than Harold."

"I bet that's how most of the people ended up here then," Duncan shrugged. "I hope Chef isn't cooking our meals."

"He's supervising your side of the prison," LeShawna told him. "He wouldn't have the time. Gordon is the chef."

"Gordon?" Duncan's ears pricked up. "Do I know him?"

"He was on the Aftermath episode where Gwen and DJ were interviewed," LeShawna explained. "He got to speak to DJ on a video chat and he's from London, Ontario. His meals are better than Chef's, but..."

"ALRIGHT! EVERYONE HURRY THE FUCK UP WITH THEIR MEALS! I HAVE TO MASTURBATE SO FUCKING BADLY! YOU'VE GOT TEN FUCKING MINUTES OR I'M THROWING YOU ALL OUT!" shouted a ginger-looking fella who was standing at the door into the kitchen.

"Oh," said Duncan. "Who's you cellmate?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"Gwen," LeShawna replied. "I used to like her, but now she's just creepy. She keeps begging Blaineley to swap cellmates Heather so she'd have Courtney as her cellmate. Chris keeps intervening and turning Gwen's requests down 'for some reason'. Still, it's better than having Bridgette as my cellmate. She's my friend, but without Geoff she goes through withdrawal syndromes and molests whoever is too close to her. Geoff has the same problem. That's how they ended up in jail. The two were apart for seven hours after getting stuck in a crowd at a 30 Seconds to Mars concert. Who's your cellmate?" she asked.

"Mal," Duncan groaned. "We were cellmates in Juvie and for that reason alone my time there was a living hell."

"Oh good," a familiar voice sighed with relief. "I'm glad you know where Mike is!" Duncan turned around to see Zoey. He rolled his eyes.

"Mike is one of Mal's alters," Duncan told her.

"No he's not! Mike got rid of all his alters after pushing the reset button!" Zoey shouted.

"Girl, for the millionth time, this is all a trick Mal is pulling on you to mess with your gullible mind," LeShawna rolled her eyes.

"And a reset button? Seriously? You can't cure MPD with a reset button," Gwen interjected.

"Didn't you just appear out of nowhere?" Duncan asked, bewildered.

"I'm looking for Courtney," Gwen explained. "Have you seen her anywhere?"

"No," lied LeShawna.

"She could be lost," Gwen suggested.

"I'll help you look for you," Zoey offered, seeming to have forgotten that Gwen corrected her.

"Thanks Zoey," Gwen smiled. They walk off in search of Courtney. When they left the lunch room Courtney climbed out from the table where Heather, Alejandro, Jo and Scott were eating at.

"Wow, this isn't you, Princess," Duncan smirked. "How did you end up here?"

"Up yours, Duncan!" Courtney snarled. "My reason for my incarceration is none of your business! And stop calling me Princess! You don't get to call me that!"

"You ended up here because you committed murder!" Harold corrected Courtney. "You murdered the mayor of your town by hiring an assassin! Are you so stupid that you forgot?! GOSH!"

"Hey, it's not my fault the election was rigged! I should've won! I was a CIT!" Courtney screamed. "And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you, you goddamn prick!"

"You killed a mayor?" Duncan laughed. LeShawna elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up.

"Stay out of it!" Courtney snapped at Duncan. She diverted her attention back to Harold. "You'd better sleep with one eye open tonight, because the whole prison is here all because of you," she hissed at Harold.

"It's impossible to sleep with one eye open!" Harold corrected Courtney. "GOSH! You're such an idiot, Courtney!"

"Wait- Harold is here with us?!" Eva rose up from her table. "YOU RATTED ME OUT YOU FUCKING WANKER! I WILL CRUSH YOUR SKULL!" she bellowed, pointing her finger accusingly at Harold. Before she could inflict any pain on Harold, she was apprehended and sedated by Blaineley. Blaineley dragged Eva's body away.

"TIME'S UP! NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA MAH FUCKING CAFITERIA!" Gordon roared, running out of the kitchen with a knife in his hand. "RAAAAAAAAAAHH!" he shouted as he proceeded to chase everyone out of the canteen.

* * *

The guards unlocked the doors and everyone looked confused and walked into the room. There was a beat up couch and a small book shelf with 4 books on it, the windows didn't open and had bars on them. There were also pictures of Chris all over the wall and a dusty told rug. When the walked in there they found sitting on the chair and looking at all of them with a big smirk on his face.

"Hello Guys." Chris smirked. "It's nice to see you all again!"

"Seriously?" Heather glared at him. "You're in a prison? Seriously? Did you really have us all arrested? For minor crimes?!"

"Minor?" Chris laughed. "You're all here because of the illegal things that you've done."

"I was returning a library book when you kidnapped me." Cameron raised his hand and informed Chris.

"Yeah, it was overdue!" Chris told Cameron. "What kind of human being would return a library book late?"

"Why does this prison only have cast members from Total Drama?" Gwen looked around. "Also, why can't I be roommates with Courtney?"

"Because roommates are already assigned." Chris sighed. "Anyway, I would like to welcome you all to Total Drama: Prison! I have camera's everywhere, including the shower area and I can air whatever I want as long as I blur out the nudity."

"We're not playing these games." Heather crossed her arms. "I take it back, I'm not playing, maybe these morons want to play this game but I don't and I'm leaving."

"You're all under contract." Chris laughed. "Security! Please take Heather to her cell. Here's how it works, you play the game and the last one that survives is the winner! There are no teams and every week we're voting someone out of here. If you get voted out, there is no playa you get sent to solitary confinement where you'll spend all your time until the game is over."

"How do we get voted out?" DJ asked. "Are there challenges?"

"Only challenge is survival. You'll be with each other most of the show and whoever gets on people's nerves the most gets voted out."

"Can I beat up Harold?" Eva asked

"Yes, yes you can." Chris laughed. "With that being said, since Harold helped get most people arrested I'm giving him immunity so you can't vote him out first! I mean, who wouldn't want to vote him out first? He may be the most hated person! Blaineley is in charge of the girls and if you have a penis then you're with Chef. Of course if anyone needs to talk to me I'll be in my private quarters that are nicer then this dump. Have fun!"

Everyone groaned in unison. This all made sense now. No wonder the whole cast is in prison! No wonder Chis is the correctional officer! No wonder the wardens are Chef and Blaineley! No wonder Gordon is the Chef!

But before the inmates could gang up on Harold, Blaineley escorted the females and Chef escorted the males to their cells.

* * *

Beth and Izzy were in their cell. Izzy was spying on the cell across the corridor. In that cell were Bridgette and Staci. Bridgette had Staci pulled onto her lap and the surfer chick was licking the back of Staci's neck.

"Yeah, did you know that my great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather invented grooming?" Staci fibbed. "Before that, everyone was filthy! How sad!"

Bridgette ignored her. She continued to lick Staci to take Geoff's absence of her mind. She only got to ride him for three hours today and that was not good enough. Izzy was watching all of this in amusement. An idea got into her head. She turned around to face Beth.

"Hey Beth!" Izzy chirped. "Izzy heard you are still wearing braces even though you don't like them! Izzy has a solution!"

Beth began to feel anxious. "Um… that won't be necessary, Izzy."

"Nonsense, just let Izzy do the licking," Izzy laughed, grabbing Beth's chin and inserting her tongue in the wannabe's mouth. Surges of both pleasure and terror were running through Beth as Izzy licked her teeth. Izzy enjoyed the feel of metal scraping through her tongue.

* * *

Duncan and Mal were fighting. Both of them wanted the top bunk, but unfortunately, someone had to take the bottom.

"Last time you had the top bunk and every night I had to deal with you shaking the bed because you don't know how to jerk off quietly!" Mal scowled.

"I need to do my carvings without getting caught!" Duncan scowled back.

"Well tough!" Mal huffed. "I'm having top bunk and that is final! Besides, I was here before you," he added.

"We'll fight for it then!" Duncan slammed his fist into his other hand.

"You're on, my little bitch!" Mal did the same gesture Duncan did. He threw a fist at Duncan. Duncan retaliated. As the fight continued, Geoff and DJ were watching this from their cell across the way. Geoff was perched on a chair and DJ was perched on Geoff's lap. DJ was sobbing quietly because he did not like that Geoff was constantly kissing him just because Bridgette wasn't around.

* * *

**So what did you guys think? This will be a big project so things will only get more messed up from there. This is the first time I have collaborated in fan fiction. I'll Cover Angel and Collins has collaborated many times. She's currently writing **_**Desires**_** with Torie Rilistkrytcat and it is just as fucked up as this fic will be. ICAAC and I are happy to be writing together because we write really messed up stories and together we can make it intense!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**So far I'm happy with the reception of this fic. You guys are awesome! Anyway, in this chapter the first inmate gets sent to the cooler. You can look forward to that. Plus, a lot of screwed up goings-on occur. Be warned… you'll be scarred for life.**

* * *

Mal slammed against the wall. Duncan grabbed him by the collar and flung him onto the bottom bunk. The delinquent did not stop there. He pounced on Mal and proceeded to strangle him. But Mal was not going to give up that easily. He forced himself to roll over, causing both himself and Duncan to fall of the bed. Duncan landed on the floor first. The thud affected him more than it did Mal, so this allowed Mal to wrestle out of Duncan's grip.

Mal began to straddle Duncan and tug at his Mohawk. Duncan yelped in pain.

"YOOOOOOWWW! LET GO OF MY HAIR!" Duncan yowled. He kneed Mal in the crotch, prompting the MPD to fall on his side on the floor. Duncan seized the opportunity to kick Mal on the side. Mal flinched. Duncan swung his foot again. But this time, Mal was too quick. He grabbed Duncan's ankle and pulled him to the ground.

"You think you are so tough?!" Mal jeered, climbing onto Duncan again. "I'll admit, you have improved considerably over the past three years. But you are still no match for me!" He grabbed Duncan's head and banged it repeatedly against the floor. Duncan surprised him, however, when he grabbed Mal's arms and flung him off the delinquent. Duncan stood up, grabbed Mal and raised him above his head.

"Oh, I've been doing a lot of toughening up since we last fought!" Duncan snarled. "I've dated Izzy, Justin, Courtney, Gwen, Chef, Ezekiel and this guy from the prison I went to after All-Stars who was convicted of biting off some guy's dick! I've been through plenty of shit since I first got on the show!" He threw Mal onto the floor. But Mal grabbed Duncan by the shirt and pulled him onto the floor.

"I'm surprised he didn't bite your dick off then! I suppose maybe that's because you never had one!" Mal growled.

"How dare you, you fucking bollocks!" Duncan shouted, throwing another fist at Mal.

Mal caught it in his hand. "Well then let's see if you have one then!" He threw Duncan's arm back and grabbed the fly on the crotch area of his pants.

"Are you fucking serious?!" Duncan slapped Mal. "I told you I'm not the same guy anymore!"

"You're still mine." Mal kicked him in the balls. "Show or not, you're mine and I hope the camera's see this so everyone knows you're my pussy little bitch."

Being kicked Duncan went down to the floor and grabbed his crotch. Mal crouched down and sat on Duncan's chest before sticking his hand down Duncan's pants which resulted in Duncan cumming on Mal's hand, making Duncan blush.

"You're horny for me and I barely touched you." Mal laughed and pulled his hand out of Duncan's pants with a complete hand covered in cum. "Open your mouth, everyone loves their own taste."

"No way." Duncan slightly moved away "I'm not eating that."

"Okay, then you can wear it Sweetie." Mal laughed and wiped the cum all over his face "Enjoy."

* * *

Meanwhile Heather was sitting in her cell with Courtney who kept pacing around the cell, talking about how she wanted to sue every single person who was in charge of this show. Heather was filing her nails.

"How did you even get this Heather?" Courtney glared. "Why am I here? This is sooo stupid!"

"Relax, it's just a show." Heather shrugged. "It's not like this is real jail..."

"Heather, have you noticed that we're not allowed to leave this cell without permission?!" Courtney yelled. "What kind of game show is this?!"

"One where you're supposed to survive and you're not very good at it." Heather laughed

"Blaineley!" Courtney yelled. "I demand you come over here and get me out!"

"Courtney, shut the fuck up before I vote you out into a solitary confinement!" Heather yelled.

"I'm a CIT and would be prepared for that." Courtney smirked.

* * *

Scott was going out of his mind, he swore that Chef did this on purpose to him. Scott was sitting on the floor glaring at Trent because he wouldn't let him have a bed. Trent claimed the bottom bed and the number 9 was on the top because 'Nine deserves to be on top in life'

"Fuck you, Trent." Scott glared at him. "I know who I'm voting for! I'm voting the number fucking nine out first so I don't have to deal with this shit! I can't wait to tell everyone else to do it during free time!"

"No you won't!" Trent glared back at Scott. "The number nine deserves to make it to ninth place! If the nine goes before then I will kill you nine times!"

"How about I just knock you out instead?!" Scott snickered, boxing Trent in the face.

"Wait... that was only once!" Trent shrieked. "Quick! Punch me eight more times!" he urged.

"Not until I get to sleep in the top bunk," Scott huffed.

"That is blackmail!" shrieked Trent.

"Duh," Scott rolled his eyes. "Tell yeah what: if you let me have bottom bunk and share a bet with 'the nine', I will punch you eight more times," he offered, smirking.

"Did you just air-quotes while you said 'the nine'?" Trent suspiciously asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I'm still new to your cult- err, I mean, religion," Scott lied. "I can't see the nine lights overnight. It... uh... takes nine days."

"Good answer!" Trent beamed. "How about we BOTH sleep on the top bunk with the number nine?!" he proposed.

"Isn't that going to wreck the bed?" Scott asked.

"Not with the Power of the Nine!" Trent smiled.

"Okay then," Scott shrugged, heading towards the top bunk. But Trent put his hand in front of him, stopping him.

"But first punch me in the face nine more times!" Trent commanded. "A deal's a deal!"

"Suit yourself," Scott shrugged, boxing Trent's face eight more times. Trent fell to the floor unconscious.

"Sucker," Scott chuckled, climbing to the top bunk and having a wank before going to sleep.

* * *

"OMG Katie, I can't believe they let us share a cell!" Sadie squealed.

"I know right?!" Katie squealed. "That is, like, so totes awes!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Katie and Sadie squealed in unison.

"WILL YOU TWO BITCHES SHUT THE HELL UP?!" Eva howled from the cell next to the wonder twins. "I'M TRYIN' TO SLEEP BUT YOU'VE BEEN SQUEALING EVERY NIGHT SINCE YE GOT HERE!"

"Shaddup and spread yer legs!" Jo commanded.

"I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU FUCKING BITCH OF A WHORE!" Eva shouted.

Jo twisted one of Eva's nipples.

"OW!" screeched Eva.

Jo cackled. "Unless you want to other boob to hurt, I'd suggest you spread your legs then," she teased.

Eva scowled. She wasn't so used to being submissive.

* * *

All was not well in Justin and Owen's cell either.

"Some *heave* body *heave* get *cough* me *heave* out *cough* of *splutter* her!" Justin begged, rattling the bars of his cell. Owen grabbed him and carried the model back to bed.

"I love the way you play hard to get," Owen swooned. "You're so hot, Justy-poo. I can tell that you need to go to the toilet so relax as I take off your pants and put my mouth on your bum."

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *hack* -EEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP!" Justin shrieked.

* * *

"I cannot believe I used to be friends with Duncan!" Zoey whinged.

"I'm pretty sure your 'friendship' with Duncan went nowhere," Dawn commented. Sure, it was not in the moonchild's nature to pass such a remark, but even she was getting annoyed with Zoey.

"I heard that Mike was forced to share a cell with Duncan!" Zoey continued on, ignoring Dawn's comment. "The poor thing must be being molested by Duncan as well speak."

"More like 'the poor thing' molesting Duncan," Dawn sighed.

Zoey was outraged. "Mike would never cheat on me!" she snapped.

"Zoey, can I meditate in peace, please?" Dawn sighed. "Thank you."

"This is no time for meditation! This is time for serious thinking!" Zoey shouted.

"We can't leave the cell until 9.00am," Dawn rolled her eyes.

"There's gotta be a way," Zoey insisted.

"Well I do have to compliment the determination in your aura," Dawn admitted.

"Those powers are creepy," Zoey commented.

"At least they're not disturbing, much like the fact that you make me wished I was sharing a cell with Bella Swan instead," Dawn muttered.

"I love Bella Swan!" Zoey smiled. "She's my hero!"

"Now I know where you get your bland, Mary-Sue qualities from," Dawn murmured, quiet enough this time so that Zoey wouldn't hear her.

* * *

"Sha-LIGHTNING!"

"I've heard you the first 537,955,583,458 times," Noah deadpanned. "I even installed a device in this cell to record how often you say that. Shut up already."

"Lightning never shuts up! Sha-LIGHTNING!" Lightning chanted.

"Make that 537,955,583,459 times," Noah scoffed, trying to bury his face into his porno magazine (which was hidden in his book) to ignore Lightning but to no avail.

* * *

LeShawna drew a line in chalk across the cell they were in and glared at Gwen.

"Seriously! Stay the fuck on your own side and go the fuck to sleep!" LeShawna yelled.

"How can I sleep when Courtney is all the way down the hall?!" Gwen yelled. "I mean if she ever cums I'll never be able to smell it from here! What if I never see her again?! COURTNEY CAN YOU HEAR ME?! I MISS YOU SO MUCH!"

"Shut up!" Bridgette yelled.

"Seriously!" Katie yelled at Gwen.

"Like totally!" Sadie yelled. "Just shut up!"

"Everyone is sick of hearing you talk!" Izzy yelled. "Even me!"

"Yah! I'm even sick of you! You talk too much and I can't tell stories about my ancestors!" Staci yelled.

"Any of y'all got hairspray?!" Anne Maria yelled.

"No! This show is stupid!" Courtney yelled "If you all don't shut the fuck up you'll be hearing from my lawyers in the morning!"

* * *

The next morning Blaineley and Chef sent everyone in the room to 'Hang out' and everyone just stared at each other until DJ broke the silence.

"Uh...I'm going to watch the TV." DJ declared.

"I'm going to read a book." Noah shrugged and then Trent pushed him on the ground.

"The books belong to the number nine!" Trent screamed.

"What are you talking about?!" Noah demanded, picking himself up off the floor. "And where did you get those marks on your face?!" he added.

"Scott punched me nine times!" Trent smiled. "What a saint!"

"If I punch you nine times, will the number nine let me read one of the books?" Noah sneered.

"No," Trent glared.

"Too bad," said Noah, as he punched Trent in the face once, knocking him out again.

"That could get you solitary confinement!" Harold glared. "GOSH! You're such an idiot, No-AAAAAAAAHHH!" Eva grabbed Harold and dragged him outside to beat the shit out of him. Alejandro and Heather stepped into the room. Both were covered in sweat.

"Someone's been going at it in the showers," Geoff cheered, giving the couple the thumbs up. "Oh, and that reminds me..." He and Bridgette ran off to the shower area to do what Heather and Alejandro did.

"Why would those guys need a shower?" Owen asked. "You don't need a shower." Everyone stepped away from Owen.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be hitting the gym!" Tyler bounced off to the gym, only to trip over his shoe-laces and fall flat on his face. Izzy seized the opportunity to drag him off to the showers.

"There you are Tyler," said Lindsay, grabbing Zoey by the wrist. "Let's go off somewhere to have sex." She dragged a protesting Zoey away.

Over near the telly, DJ was flicking through channels. Brick came up and sat on DJ's lap.

"I want to watch some cartoons," Brick said to DJ.

"What shows do you watch?" DJ asked, crept out that Brick was sitting on him.

"The show with the pink dinosaur," said Brick.

"Don't even think about it, DJ," Courtney warned DJ.

"I WANT TO WATCH THE PINKIE DINOSAUR!" Brick shouted.

"Yeah?! Well I want to watch _Game of Thrones_!" Courtney shouted back, snapping the remote from DJ and switching over to the channel _Game of Thrones_ is on.

"Oh, nu, nu, nu, nu!" Anne Maria intervened. "We're watching the Kardashians and that's that!" Everyone looked at her in sheer horror. Coincidentally, Mal happened to have let Vito out when that happened.

"Ayo, that is disturbing!" Vito flinched. "I'm so done with _Jersey Shore_ rejects." He ran out of the room to hide. A few seconds later, he ran back in. Gordon entered a moment later.

"GET YER BLOODY ARSES IN THE CANTEEN!" Gordon shouted. "BREAKFAST IS READY AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET IT GET FUCKING COLD!"

"But I haven't watched the latest episode of _Game of Thrones_!" Courtney protested. Everyone else in the room besides Anne Maria and Brick nodded in agreement.

"But I want to watch the Kardashians!" Anne Maria protested. Everyone looked at her as if she had two heads.

"AND I WANT TO WATCH THE PINKIE DINOSAUR!" Brick screamed.

"It's called _Barney and Friends_ you fucking eejit!" Duncan snapped.

Brick sat quietly on DJ's lap for a few seconds. Then he ran out of the room, screaming and crying. Everyone, even Courtney, could not help but give the delinquent looks that indicate approval. They were all sick and tired of putting up with Brick's childish-ness.

Everyone was forced to go to the canteen and eat some food. Courtney, Brick and DJ were not happy because they wanted to watch TV. Nobody was sure what exactly they were eating but Sam thought it looked like Mac and Cheese so everyone just agreed because it smelled like rotten cheese. Trent of course took up a whole table for himself and the number nine which annoyed other people who had to sit on the floor and eat.

While other people were arguing with Trent about the table sitting, Heather and Alejandro were feeling each other up in a corner. Alejandro was slipping his fingers inside of her while she got moist between her legs. This inspired Katie and Sadie to stick their fingers in each other holes until they came on each other's hands and then Sadie stuck her fingers in Katie's mouth and Katie sucked on Sadie's fingers.

"Hey Justin! You wanna try it?" Owen hopefully asked.

"No." Justin crossed his arms. "Stay away from me. It's bad enough I have to live with you."

"Oh, I was hoping we could meet under the blankets..." Owen winked at him.

"I'm good." Justin told him. "I'm going to go and eat my food somewhere else that's not near you."

"Has anyone seen Courtney?" Gwen hopefully asked everyone. "Does anyone want to help me make a missing poster sign?!"

Right when she said that, Blaineley walked in and Gwen ran up to her as she saw Katie and Sadie fingering each other.

"What the hell is wrong with everyone?!" Blaineley yelled. "It's been less than a day and you're all going nuts?!"

"We have an emergency!" Gwen yelled. "Courtney is missing!"

"I have 2 girls fingering each other on a table and that's your concern?" Blaineley glared. "I could care less where the fuck Courtney is!"

* * *

Meanwhile upstairs in Chris's office, he just finished shooting a load into Courtney on his desk. When they were done, Courtney placed her clothes back on and tried to hurry back.

"That was fun." Chris told her. "We should do that again."

"As long as you make sure Gwen stays away from me!" Courtney assured him and the two walked down to the cafeteria.

Chris stormed into the cafeteria grabbing Courtney's wrist and showing her to Blaineley.

"This one was roaming in the hallways." Chris shoved her. "Okay, everyone we're going to vote someone else right now, Harold has immunity."

"Good!" Eva scowled. "I'm not finished beating the shit out of him yet!"

* * *

Everyone was led to the conference room where Chris discussed the rules the day before. Each inmate was given a small piece of paper and had to write down the name of the contestant they wanted eliminated before handing it to either Chef or Blaineley (depending on their gender). Five minutes later, everyone voted. Chris analysed the results.

"Okay, so the following people who received no votes are," Chris counted, "Alejandro, B, Beth, Bridgette, Cameron, Cody, Courtney, Dakota, Dawn, DJ, Eva, Ezekiel, Geoff, Harold, Katie, LeShawna, Lindsay, Mal, Sadie, Sam, Scott, Staci and Tyler. For the females who got called up, stand near the wall where Blaineley is. For the males who got called, stand near the wall where Chef is." The said contestants complied.

"Why did you call Mike 'Mal'?!" Zoey demanded. "Mal is gone!"

"Are you seriously in denial?!" Chris rolled his eyes. "Anyway, the following prisoners who received only one vote are Duncan, Heather, Izzy, Jo and Noah." Zoey glared at Duncan. Gwen glared at Heather. Beth sighed because she was the only one who voted for Izzy. Brick glared at Jo. Trent glared at Noah nine times.

"Anne Maria, Brick, Gwen, Justin, Lightning, Owen, Sierra, Trent and Zoey; you guys have racked up more than one vote," Chris stated.

"Hey, there is nine of us!" Trent beamed. "That means I'm **one of the nine**! The number nine will be so proud!"

"Yeah…" Chris rolled his eyes, hiding how disturbed he was. "Anyway, with only two votes, Sierra and Lightning are safe!"

"YES!" Sierra happily shrieked. Cody and Cameron sighed in defeat.

"Sha-BAM! Sha-BOOM! Sha-LIGHTNING!" Lightning boasted. Noah and Jo glared at Lightning.

"With only three votes," Chris resumed, "Zoey is safe!" Zoey sighed in relief. Mal, Dawn and Duncan were annoyed.

"Justin and Owen are safe," Chris announced.

"YEAH! WAHOOOOOOOOOOO!" Owen whooped, pulling Justin into a bear hug, prompting the male model to sob.

"Wait, how could I be in the bottom four?!" Gwen protested. "I'm a nice person!"

"Because you keep stalking Courtney," Chris told Gwen. "Seriously, she's not missing. She's avoiding you, like any sane person would."

"W-w-why would she want to avoid me?" Gwen questioned Chris. "And where is she?!"

Courtney was standing behind Blaineley, trying desperately to hold her breath.

"She's up on the roof," Chris lied. "Anyway you're safe. Just go to the roof. If she's not there just wait for her. She'd be up there in a few minutes."

"Okay," Gwen smiled. She skipped to the roof. Everyone, even Trent, Lindsay, Owen and Brick, found this disturbing.

"Anyway, Trent and Brick are safe," Chris concluded.

"WHAT?!" shrieked Anne Maria. "Ya guys voted me out over Math Man, Baby Boy and Goth Girl?!"

"At least those three are not as idiotic as you!" Harold glared at Anne Maria. "Your taste in television is a solid indicator of what an idiot you are! GOSH!"

"This isn't over!" Anne Maria scowled. "I will kill all of ya! I'll-"

"Blaineley, cuff her up," Chris ordered.

"My pleasure," Blaineley smirked, slapping the cuffs on Anne Maria's wrists and taking her away.

"The rest of you!" Chris turned to the remaining inmates. "You are safe! For now! Now fuck off! I have some… uh… stuff… to do. Courtney, see me in my office in half an hour!"

"Will do, sir," Courtney replied.

* * *

Up on the roof, Gwen was writing something in her diary while she was waiting for Courtney. Her spirits lifted when she heard footsteps, but rolled her eyes when she noticed Izzy and Beth.

"What are you guys doing here?" Gwen raised an eyebrow.

"Izzy wants a threesome with Gwen and Beth!" Izzy chirped.

"Why would you leave Courtney out of this?" Gwen asked. "Wouldn't that make Courtney feel excluded?"

"Nah, she went off to bang Chris," Izzy laughed. "Izzy knows because Izzy's been spying on them! One day, Izzy will interrupt their sex and turn it into a three-way!"

"She's going to be late," said Gwen.

"What are you writing in your diary?" Izzy asked. "Are you writing your twisted fantasies of Courtney in there?"

"It's none of your business," Gwen rolled her eyes. But before she could stop Izzy, the psycho hose beast snatched the diary out of her hands.

"Is that Russian written with the Latin alphabet?" Izzy asked.

Gwen snatched the diary back. "I'm going downstairs," she huffed. "Courtney might get lost on her way up here after shagging Chris because this is a big prison." The Goth girl left.

"While you're at it, you should learn your Russian!" Izzy called after her.

"I didn't know Gwen was fluent at Russian," said Beth.

"Silly Beth," Izzy laughed. "That was Irish. But considering that Gwen has ancestors from Ireland she probably meant to write in Russian but ended up writing in Irish instead."

"What makes you say that?" Beth wondered.

"Because Irish people can't speak Irish," Izzy chirped.

"That's a stereotype," Beth replied.

"Oh, well then maybe Gwen really did mean what she said," Izzy laughed. "I hope she goes through with it then. And you and I can have sex while we wait."

* * *

**So what was written in Gwen's diary? Does it have anything to do with Courtney? Does it not?**

**Sorry Anne Maria fans. I'm sure there are loads of them out there. I'll Cover Angel and Collins said I should decide who should go, so I picked Anne Maria. I know she did not get much development so far, but I feel the other characters could use some more before they get sent off to the cooler.**

**Next chapter may or may not feature the next elimination. We'll see.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I think for now my hiatus is over. It's been nine days since I've last posted a new fic or updated a fic. Ha-ha. NINE!**

**I'll stop now… anyway, enjoy this epically fucked up chapter we wrote. It might ruin your childhoods.  
**

* * *

Later that night, all was still not well at the female wing of the prison, despite Anne Maria's absence. With Anne Maria gone, Gwen begged Blaineley to let her share the cell with Anne Maria's former cellmate, Sierra. Sierra and Anne Maria's cell is across from Courtney and Heather's cell. Blaineley refused, but Gwen was still determined. This was pretty obvious, considering that no one else would want to share a cell with Sierra, who was still crying over being separated from Cody and Cameron. There were fears Sierra would resort to... let's say, drastic measures, if she was given a cellmate. None of the girls wanted to be caught in that situation, not even Beth, who was being humped by Izzy as we speak.

"Say Izzy's name," Izzy moaned as she thrusted Beth's hips. "SAY IZZY'S NAME!"

"Um, Izzy?" Beth quickly said, startled by Izzy's outburst. Izzy cackled as she proceeded to bite at Beth's ponytail.

Over in Gwen and LeShawna's cell, the two were still fighting over Courtney.

"You don't approve of my friendship with Courtney because you want her all to yourself, don't cha?!" a paranoid Gwen pointed accusingly at LeShawna.

"What? Girl you're crazy." LeShawna leaned against the wall. "I don't want Courtney and I don't want Harold. I'm glad to be away from that annoying boy. I don't want anybody. I just want to be left alone."

"Hey, does anyone want to help me?" Lindsay asked. "I got my boobs stuck in the bars of this thing and now I can't like get them out! C'mon help me out Eve! You're the one who said this would help me get out!"

"What an idiot." Eva laughed. "I can't believe she did that!"

"What a fucking idiot." Heather sighed. "Is it legal to kill someone in this game?"

"If it is can I kill Gwen?" Courtney asked. "I'd be game for that."

"I'd love to spend that time with you Courtney!" Gwen yelled. "Do you want to eat breakfast with me tomorrow?!"

"Sorry I can't." Courtney laughed. "I'm busy watching that idiot Trent try to have sex with the number 9 tomorrow morning."

"Can we watch Trent have sex with the nine together?!" Gwen asked.

"No, sorry!" Courtney lied. "Trent reserved the viewing area for nine people. Other than myself and Chris, Chef, Blaineley, Duncan, Mal, Alejandro, Heather and Noah were invited!"

"Leave me out of it!" Heather gritted her teeth.

"WHAT?!" shrieked Gwen. "I KNEW YOU'D TRY TO COME BETWEEN ME AND COURTNEY, HEATHER! YOU ALWAYS RUIN MY LIFE!"

"SHUT UP! EVERYONE! NOW GO TO SLEEP!" Blaineley bellowed. Sure enough, the whole area calmed down.

Heather rolled her eyes at Gwen's paranoia. "Weird Goth Girl is not the same as she used to be in the first season. What happened?" she quietly asked Courtney.

"I know her more than you do, and even I can't put my finger on it," Courtney rolled her eyes.

"That sounded dirty the way you said it," Heather smirked.

"Very funny," Courtney scoffed, climbing into bed. "Good night."

* * *

Cody hated sharing a cell with Brick. Brick refused to sleep in his own bed so Cody had to share his. Too bad Brick wets every bed he sleeps in and is always tossing and turning, making it extremely uncomfortable for Cody.

"Brick! What the hell?!" Cody yelled. "This is so annoying! I don't want to sleep here with you anymore. You're in a cell that's LOCKED so nothing is going to get you!"

"How do you know?" Brick told him. "Anything could happen while we're in here! What if there's a toilet monster or something?"

"Are you serious?" Cody sighed and climbed out of the bed and went over to the cell door. "CHEF! CAN YOU COME IN HERE?!"

Moments later Chef came in wearing his pyjamas and slippers.

"What do you want?" Chef glared. "Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Brick is wetting the bed and being annoying, can I have a new roommate?" Cody asked.

"No!" Chef yelled. "Now go the fuck to sleep."

As Chef left both Cody and Brick in the cell, Cody sighed as Chef walked away and ignored him.

* * *

DJ was crying because he didn't want to be in a jail cell and he was sure his Momma wouldn't approve of him being in jail and to make it worse Tyler was his roommate and he kept doing extreme everything. Tyler was currently trying to do an extreme hand stand and he kept falling over and DJ was worried that Tyler was going to die from doing stupid stunts and he would get blamed for killing the extreme sports lover.

"Tyler, maybe you should try a safer thing?" DJ suggested. "I don't want to see you die. How about extreme jumping jacks? Maybe extreme sleeping?"

"No way dude, I can feel the blood rushing through my head!" Tyler happily gave DJ a thumbs up and then realized when doing a hand stand you need two hands and the thumbs up made him lose balance and fall over.

"Ow! That one hurt my neck!" Tyler sobbed.

* * *

Geoff was going nuts in his cell there was no Bridgette and nobody to party with because his roommate was B.

"Aw man! Why did Chef have to make me and Tyler swap cellmates?!" Geoff sighed.

"To mess with us," B replied. "Obviously he noticed you were getting too cosy with DJ and I was 'hardly interacting' with Tyler. Chef wanted to deprive you of sex and he wanted to give you a cellmate that, I quote, 'is the most boring cellmate ever'. The nerve of that guy! Not only does he swap the cellmates around at his own discretion, regardless of whether it is necessary or not, he also ignores me whenever I speak! It's like I'm talking to myself!"

"I can't believe it!" Geoff continued ranting. "DJ is no Bridgette but I was just getting used to cheating on her with DJ even though that both Bridgette and I are close friends with DJ and that DJ may not want it! I bet Tyler is enjoying having DJ in his pants!"

"Did you not listen to a word I've said for the past five hours?" B rolled his eyes at Geoff.

"Dude, say something man!" Geoff begged, having not listened to a single word B has said. "Your silence is creeping me out!"

"I am saying something!" B raised his voice. "I've been talking with you the whole time! But it feels like I'm talking to myself instead! Listen will ya?!"

Geoff snapped his fingers at B. "Dude, earth to B! It feels like I'm talking to myself when you're standing there not saying anything. Kinda rude, Y'know?"

"AW FORGET IT!" B scowled. "WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?!"

* * *

Owen was sitting on the toilet.

"Justin?!" Owen called out. "Justin! Where are you?!" Shrugging, Owen got up off the toilet, pulled up his pants and flushed. He failed to notice a flattened Justin with his upper legs and crotch covered in Owen's deposits sitting on the toilet seat.

* * *

Chef was in his bed, humping and thrusting. When he was finished, he got off his receiver and laid on the other side of the bed.

"You liked that?" Chef asked.

"Definitely," Noah sighed, whipping out a cigarette. "Thanks for that. I needed a break from Lightning. I swear to God if I hear him say 'sha' one more time I will beat the shit out of him."

"Then beat the shit out of him," Chef shrugged, whipping out a cigarette and lighting it up, along with Noah's cigarette.

"You series?" Noah's ears pricked up. "I could do that?"

"Yeah, it'll bring in the ratings." Chef let out a steam of smoke from his lips. Noah did the same.

"Cool," said Noah. "Well I best be heading back. I'm sure the goons are still awake, but they'll be too busy taking their primitive instincts out on each other to notice you escorting me back to my cell."

"So what we were doing wasn't primitive?" Chef smirked.

"Not when we do it," Noah shrugged. "We're very innovative. Plus, we don't just shift some random person just because they are the only other one in the room. If we didn't like that person we'd just have a wank."

* * *

The next morning, Dawn could not wait to get away from Zoey. She was sick and tired of being stuck with her.

"Dawn, I'm serious!" Zoey insisted. "You've got to convince Duncan to leave Mike alone!"

"I could tell from 'Mike's' aura that he wants it," Dawn scowled. "You need to find yourself a personality." She walked off to find Noah. She found him in the book section of the rec room.

"So how'd your night with Bella Swan go?" Noah asked.

"She never shuts up," Dawn scowled. "I'd rather have Lightning as a roommate."

"Be careful what you wish for," Noah warned. "Even after I beat the crap out of him last night he still continued to be annoying as fuck."

"He's Lightning," Dawn deadpanned. "He's a retard. Zoey is supposed to be smarter than that."

"I'm starting to wish that I could just quit this game and stay in a dark hole the rest of this hell." Noah sighed as he watched lighting shove a plastic fork up his nose.

"I don't blame you." Dawn sighed as LeShawna walked over to her.

"Girl, what does my future say?" LeShawna held her palm out. "Does it say that I end up killing myself stuck with Gwen in a cell? Can I kill her?"

"Courtney!" Gwen walked up to her and grabbed her boobs. "Did your boobies get big bigger since last night?! Are you wearing a bra? That's what I love about them, I bet they'd be a comfortable pillow."

"I'd rather teach sex Ed to DJ then let you lay on my chest." Courtney glared.

"Do you mean that?!" DJ happily asked. "My Mama and Chef Hatchet won't tell me."

"You wanna see my boobs?" Courtney smirked and started to unbutton her shirt.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Chef yelled as he walked in the room. "DJ DON'T NEED TA KNOW BOUT THAT SHIT!"

"He's 17 years old you prude!" Courtney yelled at him.

"Exactly," Chef laughed. "The more we delay telling him the birds and the bees, the more fucked up it gets. For **him**! Oh, and Grim is touching yer tits again."

Courtney slapped Gwen's hand away. "What is wrong with you?!" Courtney shrieked.

"I need to feel you!" Gwen defended herself as Courtney stormed off.

Dawn, LeShawna and Noah shook their heads. "I won't worry about it," Noah told LeShawna. "Gwen will be killed before she drives you to the deep end, but what the question we should be considering is how Courtney will do it."

"I don't mind how Courtney does it once I don't have to deal with Gwen anymore," LeShawna rolled her eyes.

"Trust me, I'd rather have Gwen as a cellmate than Zoey," Dawn shrugged. "I would love to become your cellmate, but Blaineley only swaps cellmates around for the benefit of the ratings. Even if we get our way, Gwen and Zoey will team up to get what they want. And we all know Courtney, Mal and secretly Duncan would not want that."

"Just be glad none of you guys have Lightning," Noah warned. All of a sudden, Lightning appeared out of nowhere and tripped over Noah, falling to the floor and knocking the bookworm out of his chair. The jock was already covered in plasters and bruises from the beating he took from Noah the previous night, but Noah vowed to give Lightning more bruises and plasters.

"Sha-LIGHTNING!" Lightning randomly shouted.

"Dumbass," Noah muttered.

* * *

Cody and Cameron were running as fast as their legs could carry them.

"Cody! Cameron! You know that playing hard to get only makes me want you more!" Sierra called after them. This prompted Cameron and Cody to kick up speed until they found a storage room to hide in. They ran in and closed the door before Sierra turned the corner. She ran past the storage room, only to run into Harold.

"Harold, have you seen Cody and Cameron?" Sierra sked.

"They ran into the storage room! IDIOT!" Harold berated her.

"Thanks!" Sierra chirped, having missed Harold's insult. She ran into the storage room and cackled like a maniac as she did her worst.

* * *

Scott had had enough and shoved Trent off of the table. "I don't give a fuck that you are my roommate!" Scott snapped. "I am sick and tired of your number nine bullshit! There is no such thing as 'the Ninth God'! Everyone is sick and tired of you acting like you and a number that has no physical existence are the kings of this shithole! GET A FUCKING REALITY CHECK ALREADY!"

"NINE-HATER!" Trent gasped, slapping Scott across the face nine times. "You will pay for your infidelity, you blasphemous heretic!"

"Whatever!" Scott scoffed. "Bring it!" He marched off, realising why Chef put him in a cell with Trent. Chris was paying Scott back for deliberately fucking up the continuity of the previous season. Scott acted like an idiot so that fans would get pissed off and stop watching the show, and it worked. Scott thought it served Chris right for letting Fang put him in a trauma chair and molest him in the process. Now Scott was beginning to think that maybe trying to get revenged on Chris was not very wise.

* * *

"Okay! Listen up you fuck faces." Blaineley tossed used toilet paper wads at them. "Time to vote someone out. Use this."

"Why did you do that?" Chris asked her while glaring. "I wanted to throw nasty toilet paper at everyone!"

"Who cares?" Chef walked up to them while eating an apple.

"Where did you get good food from and why can't we have any?" LeShawna glared. "I want some fruit that's not rotting!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Cameron and Cody ran into the room to hide behind Chef. "Tell Sierra to leave us alone!"

"Here." Chris handed them used toilet paper. "I used that one myself. This is what you're voting with today."

"Sierra!" Cameron and Cody grabbed a pen and handed it to Chris.

Everyone scribbled down the names on the toilet paper and handed them back to Blaineley.

"Okay, 2 votes for Sierra, 3 votes for the number 9, one vote for Lightning and the rest are all for Courtney."

"WHAT?!" Gwen yelled. "You need to do a fucking recount!"

"No, that's alright. I voted for myself anyway..." Courtney stepped away from Gwen.

"Who else voted for her?! Traders!" Gwen yelled.

"I did because I felt bad for her." LeShawna shrugged.

"We all felt bad for her because you're creepy." Heather smirked. "Plus I now have my own room."

"Fuck you, assholes!" Gwen shouted at everyone. She ran up to Courtney and grabbed her, not realising – or pretending not to realise; a 50-50 possibility – that she was feeling Courtney's tits again.

"Courtney don't go!" Gwen begged. "Please don't!"

"Let go of me!" Courtney shouted, shoving Gwen aside and running off.

"COURTNEEEEEEEEEY!" Gwen called after Courtney. "I'LL AVENGE YOU!"

"Oh great," Noah rolled his eyes. "And I thought Trent was the only character assassination."

"What about Geoff and Bridgette?" Sam asked.

"They've always been chronic sex-addicts," Noah explained. "Let's just say that Izzy was not the reason why every intern for _Total Drama Island_ lost their virginity." Everyone looked at Bridgette and Geoff in utter terror.

"Now I know the main reason why they hooked up!" Jo scoffed, standing up. "Now if everyone will excuse me, I'm going to molest Lightning. Come Eva."

Eva was outraged. "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" she bellowed. "I'LL MOLEST **WHOEVER** I WANT, **WHENEVER** I WANT! GOT IT?!"

"Did I say you had a choice, she-man?!" Jo glared threateningly. Eva looked like she wanted to rip Jo's head off, but complied. She followed Jo out of the room as the latter dragged a clueless Lightning along.

* * *

"Honestly Chris, I can't thank you enough for getting me out of that shithole," Courtney sighed as she followed Chris to his private quarters where she'll be staying for the remainder of the show. Three interns were carrying her luggage.

"You being safe is the only payback I need," Chris assured her. "Besides, I don't really like being in the same competition as Gwen, if you know what I mean," he flirted.

Courtney blushed. "Shut up!"

"You know what I mean," Chris laughed. "Now let's get you in some comfy clothes watch some TV. Oh wait, I'm comfortable with you wearing your uniform."

"Perve!" Courtney scoffed, but deep down she was enjoying it.

"Is Anne Maria okay?" Courtney randomly asked.

"Why you ask?" Chris asked.

"I'm curious," said Courtney. "If Gwen is eliminated next, will she be sharing a cell with Anne Maria?"

"Every eliminated contestant shares a cell," Chris laughed. "It's big, the beds are made of concrete, the window is bricked up and there is only one hole in the cell for pissing and shitting. All I know is I really do not envy whoever is the next contestant to be eliminated."

"That's cruel!" Courtney gasped. "But somehow, you being cruel to the others kinda turns me on," she blushed.

"I knew you'd love that!" Chris laughed.

* * *

**Sorry to all you Courtney fans, but considering that I'll Cover Angel and Collins and I are Chrisney fans, it was going to happen eventually. Courtney will continue to play a major role, but most of her scenes will be written by ICAAC because she loves Chrisney more than I do. We hope you all liked the sudden plot twists as well. There are many more to come, along with lots of right-in-the-childhood moments.**

**ELIMINATED: Anne Maria, Courtney.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is the longest chapter so far. 4,300 works in total. More fucked up shit to be read, so have fun!**

* * *

Later that night Beth was laying down on the ground while Izzy was on top of her and grinding against Beth who was crying because her mouth was infected from having her braces ripped out earlier. Beth was crying because she was a virgin and only paid Brady to say he fucked her, she was saving herself for Justin and now that was ruined and it was all because Izzy stuck her finger deep inside of Beth about an hour ago and popped the girls cherry. Izzy who had fucked almost every person on the show was trying to calm Beth down so Blaineley wouldn't come in and yell at her for molesting people.

"Shhhhhhh! It's okay Beth." Izzy covered her mouth. "You're really going to have to stop crying or I'll be forced to make you orgasm until you black out!"

"Go Izzy!" Gwen started shaking the bars on the cell. "That's so sexy! I would love to do that to Courtney!"

"Wait, the rape part or the cherry popping?" LeShawna looked at Gwen.

"The rape part..." Gwen blushed. "It would be like a sexy roleplay because she would want it just as me."

"Gwen what the fuck is wrong with you?!" Izzy yelled at Gwen. "Rape is wrong!"

"But you're doing it to Beth right now..." Gwen pointed out.

"Yeah, but I rape everyone." Izzy climbed off of Beth. "You just want Courtney and that's really fucked up. I'm an equal opportunity rapist! You're just a regular rapist."

"Y'know what? Just go over there," LeShawna interjected, pointing at a corner of the cell. "You're too close."

"But I'm a nice person!" Gwen protested, trying too hard to be diplomatic about her situation once again.

* * *

"GOSH! You're such an idiot, Sam!"

Sam glared at Harold. "Care to explain why you think I'm an idiot this time?" he demanded. He could not believe that Chef made him share a cell with Harold, of all people.

"You're ALWAYS an idiot!" Harold glared at Sam. "Curse your stupidity for failing to acknowledge that! IDIOT!"

"Is this about that whole pancake thing last season?!" Sam scowled. "It was a mistake! People make mistakes!"

"Only if they are idiots," Harold rolled his eyes.

"So basically, you're calling everyone out there idiots?" Sam sneered.

"Yes," Harold scoffed. "Isn't it obvious?! I am the only person on this planet who is not an idiot."

"An argument between you and Sheldon Cooper would be priceless," Sam commented.

"Such an argument would be a waste of time!" Harold shouted, offended by Sam's comment. "It would be obvious who would win the argument! Sheldon Cooper is an idiot! He once left his keys in the bowl, does not know how to sleep on Penny's couch, is too idiotic to learn how to drive and he forces his roommate Leonard, who is also an idiot, to comply with idiotic rules! If Sheldon Cooper discovered what an idiot he is, he'd be so emotionally shattered he'd have to be put down."

"If you two were to fight, I'd say BOTH of you would be shattered emotionally," Sam muttered.

Harold had had enough. "I cannot abide by your complete voidance of intelligence!" he shouted. "I shall punish you by administrating judicial corporal punishment on your person to reinforce your significantly lower IQ! HIYA!"

Harold hit Sam. Sam scowled. He hit Harold back.

"You... you just hit me," Harold gasped. He burst into tears. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D BE AN IDIOT AND DO SUCH A THING! CURSE YOUR STUBBORN RETARDEDNESS FOR CONSTANTLY REFUSING TO REGISTER YOUR STUBBORN RETARDEDNESS! GOSH!" The lanky teen ran over to the bars and rattled on them. "CHEF! SAM HIT ME BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT! IDIOT!"

Shut the fuck up!" Scott yelled from his cell "Nobody fucking cares Harold!"

While Harold was busy arguing back and forth with everyone who could hear him, Duncan was taking it from behind by Mal and was moaning like crazy which caused Justin to look at Duncan in the cell.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Mal glared. "This little sweetie is mine, so don't you even fucking think about hitting on him."

"You're so lucky." Justin smirked. "You have Duncan, I wish I had someone as cute as Duncan like Heather or even Noah...Fuck, I'd take anyone over fucking Owen! Can you hear that asshole snoring? I'm just glad he's finally sleeping and leaving me alone."

"Did you seriously just say you wanted to fuck Noah?" Ezekiel asked. "That's really gross. I don't know why the cell walls are paper thin anyway. I don't want to hear guys screwing around."

"I bet that these walls aren't even Sha-real!" Lightning yelled and then kicked the wall. "Sha-Ow! What the sha-fuck?!"

"Idiot!" Harold yelled while still crying.

"Does anyone want to have a 9 some with me and the number 9?!" Trent happily asked. "That means you Alejandro!"

"No!" Alejandro yelled back. "It's bad enough that I'm forced to be here with you people but I will certainly never be desperate enough to sleep with you, Trent."

"Who said you had a choice?" Trent laughed evilly.

"I know karate and I do yoga, that means I'm flexible enough to dodge you and trained to crack your skull with my hands." Alejandro told him.

"I know Ninequandoughorish!" Trent laughed. "That means that your moves don't apply!"

"I don't even know what the fuck that means!" Alejandro yelled.

"I'd still rather fuck Trent then Owen." Justin added in. "What do you say, Trent?"

"No nine, no deal." Trent informed him.

* * *

Back in the girls' cells, Gwen now had two black eyes and LeShawna was happily sitting on her bunk bed smiling at the fact that Gwen had finally shut the hell up. Beth was no longer being raped by Izzy and found a cup and was banging on the bars trying to make music. This noise was making Dakota annoyed.

"Listen here you creepy craft girl!" Dakota yelled. "Stop with the fucking banging with the cup or I'll come over there and kill you!"

"You can't leave your cell." Beth stuck her tongue out at Dakota even though she wouldn't have seen it because she was already at the opposite end of the cells.

"I'll have Izzy rape you again!" Dakota yelled.

"You'll have to wait, Izzy is working on tunneling out." Beth looked around. "In fact, I think she might have already done it. I don't see her in here..."

"I wish I could see Courtney." Gwen told LeShawna. "I mean if I could see at all. I'd even take hearing Courtney's voice."

"Girl, shut up or I'm going to kill you." LeShawna glared at you. "I know you can't see right now but I'm looking at you like I would stab you if I had a knife."

Everyone shut up the second Blaineley walked in.

"Where's Izzy?" Blaineley sighed. "You know what, I don't even care… Listen up, it's shower time. There are no shower curtains so you better get used to seeing each other naked."

"Will there at least be boys there?" Zoey asked hopefully. "I miss Mike."

"No, girls first and then the boys." Blaineley informed them. "So, let's go. Form a line and I'll search you all before you go in and yes, there will be cameras."

The girls shuffled their way into the shower room and got out of their uniforms. They stood under the shower nozzles while Blaineley turned on the shower.

"GAAAAAAAH! IT'S COLD!" yelped Sadie.

"I know, right?!" Lindsay agreed. "It feels like the Sahara Desert!"

"I wish Courtney were her so I could snuggle up to her," said Gwen.

"If I snuggle up to you, will you shut the fuck up about Courtney?!" Bridgette groaned.

"No, I can't cheat on Courtney!" Gwen protested.

"Your loss," Bridgette shrugged. She proceeded to make out with Lindsay, who thought Bridgette was Tyler.

"Gwen, I don't like your aura," Dawn told Gwen. "If I were you, I'd leave Courtney alone."

"You just want Courtney all to yourself, don't cha?" Gwen shoved Dawn. Dawn stumbled backwards and knocked the soap out of Jo's hand. Jo scowled and bent down to pick up the soap, only to have a finger in her arse.

"Hey?! What gives?!" Jo demanded.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN DOMINATE ME, YA LITTLE CUNT?! WELL I'LL TEACH YOU TO THINK THAT WAY!" Eva bellowed. She pounced onto Jo and proceeded to molest her.

"I don't like this," said Beth, cowering in the corner, not liking the show Eva and Jo were putting on for themselves one bit.

"There you are, ya little bitch!" Dakota shouted, appearing out of nowhere and lunging for Beth. She unleashed her Dakotazoid roar. Beth punched her when Dakota got close enough, knocking Dakota to the ground. Dakota grabbed Beth and pulled her to the ground. The two girls engaged in a cat fight, turning most of the girls on. Heather, on the other hand, was disgusted.

"That is fucking nasty," Heather scoffed. "Why can't you dweebs keep your primitive behaviour in the cells?"

"Ya, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great uncle's second cousin twice removed invented primitive behaviours!" Staci gabbed. "Before that-"

"NOBODY FUCKING CARES!" screamed every girl in the room in unison.

"You're just jealous your ancestors did nothing," Staci dismissed the other girls.

"Staci, you do realise that I just keep molesting you and not listen to your bullshit, right?" Bridgette rolled her eyes.

"Aw, you guys are molesting each other and leaving Izzy out of it?" Izzy sighed, entering the shower room.

"Where did you come out from?!" Heather demanded. "I thought you broke out!"

"Nah, Izzy was digging a passageway to the rest of the cells so Izzy could shag all of you lot," Izzy laughed. "You've all got holes in your walls that only Izzy can find, and now Izzy wants to shift every one of you right in this shower room!"

"It's a shame Courtney isn't here," Gwen sighed. "She's missing out."

"Actually, I envy her this time," Heather mused. "Before that, I didn't, thanks to you."

* * *

Two hours later, it was the boys' turn to hit the showers.

DJ stripped off his uniform and stood in the corner and looked down at the ground. He didn't like this and he figured if he didn't look at anyone then everyone would leave him alone. Chef stood by the door and laughed.

"DJ, Get your ass outta that corner!" Chef yelled. "Y'all got the same thing so you better get used to it!"

"I think I can win this show if I don't look at anyone." DJ told him.

"DJ, get your ass over here now!" Chef blew a whistle.

"Okay! Okay! I'm coming!" DJ sobbed and stood next to B. "Please don't look at my penis..."

This made Chef laugh and B gave DJ a thumbs up. Scott stood next to B and DJ.

"Mind if I stand here? I'm not looking and I really don't want to drop the soap." Scott sighed. "Can I piss here?"

Before anyone could answer him Scott started to piss on the floor and Owen started at Scott's penis and then nudged Justin.

"Look at Scott's penis." Owen smiled. "He's almost as big as you, Justin!"

"Can you not look at my penis? That's weird." Justin glared. "I share a cell with you, so go bother someone else."

"Hey Noah!" Owen waved to Noah. "You want to compare sizes?"

"I hate you Justin." Noah glared before shoving Justin, causing him to fall on the floor landing on his stomach. "Looks like Justin dropped the soap over there big guy..."

"You're right!" Owen happily hugged Noah. "I knew he wanted to try anal again!"

"Good for you and Justin, I'm happy for you." Noah broke out of Owen's grasp. "Please don't hug me naked ever again."

Meanwhile Geoff and Alejandro were standing away from everyone else watching Mal rape the shit out of Duncan while Geoff was masturbating, this disturbing Alejandro.

"So, are you jerking off from watching them or thinking of Bridgette?" Alejandro took a few steps away while he asked.

"I'm thinking about Bridgette." Geoff assured him.

"Just checking..." Alejandro awkwardly laughed and stepped away anyway.

* * *

Meanwhile Chris was in his office upstairs watching the cameras and laughing while Courtney sat on his lap.

"How pissed do you think they would be if they knew I was here and not locked in a dark hole?" Courtney planted kisses on Chris's neck.

"Gwen would miss you." Chris laughed. "Okay, so tell me what you think."

"Okay, Noah has a bigger dick then I would have expected and Alejandro is smaller then what I imagined, Heather shouldn't be bragging about that thing and the only amusing thing of the night was watching Justin get raped."

"Am I better then Duncan?" Chris asked her with a smirk.

"What if I say no?" Courtney laughed.

"Then I'll bring Gwen up here and handcuff you to a bed." Chris told her.

"You're better then Duncan." Courtney glared. "Keep Gwen away from me."

"Watch TV." Chris told Courtney as she slid off his lap and he handed her the remote. "I have to gather them all up and make them vote someone out. I'm bringing apples and placing them on the table for their snacks."

"This isn't kindergarten, why the fuck are you bring them apples?" Courtney shook her head.

"There are only 9 apples." Chris laughed. "Just watch the cameras."

Back in the shower room, Justin was struggling to pry himself out from under Owen's mass.

"Isn't this awesome, Justin?!" Owen beamed. "You, me, having anal sex right in front of everyone."

"Keep it up and you'll have a pancake for a roommate," Noah deadpanned.

"Alright maggots, that's enough showering!" Chef stormed into the room. "Now get dried up, get dressed and get to the canteen!""

"Can we wait until I cum up Justin's bum?" Owen asked.

"Please get this prick wanker off of me," Justin begged Chef.

"Will you have sex with me tonight if I do?" Chef asked.

"No," said Justin.

"Then you're on your own," Chef shrugged. "The rest of you... OUT!"

* * *

Half an hour later, everyone except Justin and Owen were sitting in the canteen, waiting for the food to come. As usual, Trent took up nine seats and refused to share them, so eight people had to sit on other people's laps. Bridgette, Sam and Heather didn't mind sitting on Geoff's, Dakota's and Alejandro's laps respectively, but Duncan did not want to sit on Mal and Cameron and Cody were freaked out at how Sierra managed to sit on their laps at the exact same time. Also, Brick sat on Lightning who was sitting on Scott, and Lindsay sat on Izzy, thinking Izzy was Tyler.

Gordon stormed into the room and put the basket of apples on the counter where people gather their food. "A'IGHT YA LIT'L FUCKTARDS, HERE'S YER FUCKING FOOD NOW EAT IT!" Gordon screamed. He left the room. None of the inmates were eager about eating apples, but they were hungry so they rose up from their tables and went to get the apples. Trent skipped to the front of the queue and took all of the apples.

"Hey, what's the big idea?!" Jo demanded. "Not all of those apples are for you!"

"Exactly," Trent replied. "I'm giving them to the number nine!"

"How the fuck is 'the number nine' going to eat an apple if it doesn't have a mouth?" Noah rolled his eyes.

"Of COURSE the number nine has a mouth!" Trent scolded Noah. "Actually, the number nine has NINE mouths! By burning the apples nine times the number nine will be able to taste them!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Eva lunged for Trent. Trent kicked her in the crotch nine times before running off.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, EVIL SATAN WOMAN OF THE TEN TITS!" Trent shouted before running off.

"Now I know who I'm going to vote for," Noah scoffed.

Owen ran into the canteen nine seconds later, carrying Justin over his shoulder.

"Is it breakfast already?" Owen happily asked.

"I'm afraid it was over before it started," Scott rolled his eyes, shoving Lightning and Brick off his lap.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" Owen wailed. He proceeded to grab Cody and Cameron and attempt to eat them. Sierra yanked them out of Owen's hands.

"DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO EAT MY CODYKINS OR CAMMYKINS AGAIN, YOU PRICK-BOLLOCKS!" Sierra yelled, kicking Owen in the chin before dragging Cameron and Cody off somewhere else to rape them. Owen began to cry, then he proceeded to eat all of the tables and chairs in the canteen, much to everyone's horror.

* * *

"Inmates, I have 36 of you and only 35 condoms left," Chris barked. "Okay, so one vote for Gwen, one for Eva, two for Sierra, three for Owen and the rest for the number nine. Because nine doesn't count, Owen has been eliminated!"

"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN THAT NINE DOESN'T COUNT?!" Trent shrieked.

"Seriously, dude, check into a mental asylum or something," Chris groaned. "Okay Owen, off to the cooler you go!"

"WAIT!" Gwen protested. "Owen can't go to the cooler! Courtney would not be able to breath with him in the same cell!"

"Gwen, did you vote yourself out just so you'd be in the same cell as Courtney?" Chris stared at Gwen.

"Yes," Gwen answered, as if the answer was obvious. "I miss her and I need her. Courtney needs me too!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Courtney would prefer have her cell turned into a gas chamber than get raped by someone even half as creepy as you," Chris rolled his eyes. "C'mon Owen, let's go."

"But... but what did I do?!" Owen protested.

"You ate all of the tables and chairs!" Harold snarled. "GOSH! It's physically impossible to digest all of that inedible material without any long lasting effects! IDIOT!"

"If Courtney ends up in hospital because of you, I will burn down your house and murder your whole fucking family!" Gwen threatened Owen.

"Am I the only one who is also concerned about Anne Maria?" Zoey asked.

As soon as Owen was taken away by Chef, Justin threw his fists in the air in excitement.

"Don't worry Justin," Chris laughed, "we've found you a new cellmate."

"Uh oh, who is it?" Justin asked anxiously.

"You're getting stuck with Alejandro." Chris laughed. "This will be fun. Oh, and as a reward you two can have this compact mirror that I had Blaineley steal from Lindsay. I was going to throw it on the ground and let you two fight for the death of it, but that would be illegal so I'm just going to hand it to Alejandro and let you two share it."

"Why are you handing it to me?" Alejandro demanded to know. "Are you implying that you think I'm like Justin and need to look at myself in the mirror all the time?"

"How come they get the mirror?" Heather demanded to know. "I want it."

"Can I just give it to Heather?" Alejandro shrugged.

"No." Chris told him. "If you give it to Heather then she's eliminated and will be spending some time with Owen."

"On second thought you two can keep it." Heather told them as she leaned against the wall.

"How come they get a reward? I think I should be able to get a reward too!" Gwen chimed in. "Can I get Courtney as a reward?"

"Uh, Chris." Noah raised his hand. "Can you please ask Trent to move the number nine? It's making the number seven feel uncomfortable."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! THE NUMBER 9 IS THE ONLY NUMBER ALLOWED ON THIS SHOW!" Trent yelled and Noah smirked.

"I called the number seven and invited him to compete as well." Noah held a straight face. "He wanted to play the game. Do you know how hard it is to get the seven god to return your calls?"

"Chris! I want the Number Seven eliminated." Trent crossed his arms. "Noah can't just bring in random numbers to play this game!"

"Does it annoy you?" Chris asked Trent.

"YES!" Trent yelled.

"Then I'll allow it." Chris shrugged. "Anyway, I have a challenge for you both! I'm taking you to the laundry room where you'll find about 20 bags of laundry that normally the interns would wash. It's an individual challenge and one guy and one girl from both teams will be doing the laundry. Both of you will be getting 10 bags, you have to wash and dry the clothes and sort them by who you think they belong to. Blaineley has about 8 pairs of panties with blood stains in them, if you can get the stains out you get bonus points. Winner of the laundry cleaning is safe during the next vote."

"You guys mixed your laundry together?" Harold sighed. "Idiots..."

B nodded and flipped Chris off.

"So, I want each of you to pick who is representing you." Chris told them. "Whatever gender loses this challenge, you all have to scrub the kitchen floor with toothbrushes. So… Females! Who is your representative?"

"I don't trust Gwen," LeShawna glared. "Bitch would throw the challenge just so we'd lose, vote her out and then be with Courtney."

"I knew you wouldn't approve of my love for Courtney!" Gwen scoffed at LeShawna.

"I'll volunteer!" Zoey chirped.

"Oh, and I forgot to mention," Chris added. "Anyone who is a boring Mary-Sue and will therefore do everything as if they are a boring Mary-Sue is automatically ruled out for challenges like this."

"What does that even mean?" Zoey wondered.

"It means you can't do the challenge, Bella Swan," Jo rolled her eyes.

"Omigosh, I love, love, LOVE Bella Swan!" Katie squealed.

"Me too!" Sadie agreed. "She and Edward go great together!"

"Nah-uh! Team Jacob all the way!" Katie corrected her BFFFL.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Sadie snapped at her BFFFL. "Jacob murders people!"

"For FOOD!" Katie snapped back. "Edward kills people for no reason!"

"Both of you are idiots!" Eva jeered. "Bella should be brutally slaughtered and taken out of the equation! JacobXEdward for life!"

Everyone stared at Eva.

"IF ANYONE HAS GOT ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT MY GUILTY PLEASURES, I WILL SKULL-FUCK ALL OF YA!" Eva threatened.

Everyone stopped staring.

"How about we all put this to a vote?" Beth cheerily suggested.

"How about you scratch your arse?" Dakota scoffed.

"How about you go fuck yourself?!" Beth snapped.

"You little bitch!" Dakota snarled.

"Oh, it's on!" Beth pounced on Dakota.

"This is stupid," Heather rolled her eyes.

"Heather's right," Chris laughed. "I'll just pick the representatives myself! Lindsay and Trent! Come forward!"

"Okay," Lindsay smiled. She dropped her pants, laid down on the ground and proceeded to shlick.

"No, not that!" Chris insisted. "Get up off the ground and pull up your pants before Izzy rapes you!"

"Since when does Chris give a shit about whether his prisoners are raped or not?" Mal rolled his eyes.

"You should talk," Duncan rolled his eyes. "Can I take my dick out of your ass now?"

"No," Mal glared at Duncan. "It stays in until I tell you to take it out. Even if that means I will have to borrow a scissors," he threatened.

"How is it even possible to rape someone by forcing their cock inside of you?!" Duncan demanded. "And who even does that?!"

"It's possible if the victim is you," Noah deadpanned. He turned to Chris. "So Chris, are we going to get this waste of time out of the way or what?" the bookworm asked.

"When I feel like it," Chris told Noah. A few seconds have passed.

"Okay, now I feel like it," said Chris. "Izzy, get off of Lindsay. Everyone, let's go."

* * *

At the laundry room, Lindsay and Trent were sorting out the bags of washing as quickly as possible. Trent surprisingly had all of the bags done within nine minutes. Meanwhile, Lindsay was still struggling; getting the laundry mixed up and adding more stains in the process.

"Ha! We're guaranteed a win!" Scott triumphantly smirked.

"You're a total imbecile, Scott!" Harold glared at Scott. "GOSH! Trent has only finished NINE bags of laundry! He has one more to go! Curse your atrocious math skills! IDIOT!"

"Wait a second..." Chris noticed that there was in fact a bag of washing still waiting to be attended to.

"Harold's right," said Chris. "Trent has to sort out one more bag before the males can win."

"Sounds easy enough," Geoff shrugged. "You can do this, Trent!" he cheered the numerical cultist on.

"Oh I'm not doing it," Trent glared.

"Why not?" Geoff asked.

"Because then I will have ten bags of laundry sorted out! TEN!" Trent replied.

"Trent, why do you refuse to put your… dare I say… 'religious beliefs' aside during challenges?" Alejandro demanded.

"BECAUSE IF I DO THAT, THE NINTH GOD WILL BE ANGRY AND I WILL END UP GOING TO THE PLACE DEVOID OF THE NUMBER NINE!" Trent screamed.

"Yeah, this is gonna take forever," Chris shrugged. "Females win!"

The female inmates cheered.

"Females, you are safe from elimination tomorrow!" Chris smiled. "Males… sucks to be you, huh? Have fun scrubbing the kitchen floor before bed!"

"Fuck you, McLean!" Duncan scowled.

"The only person you'll be fucking is me, whenever I want it," Mal reminded Duncan.

"Alright maggots, it's time to scrub the kitchen floor!" Chef busted into the laundry room. "Get yer fucking asses in the kitchen NOW!"

* * *

**I meant to have that up yesterday, but while I was putting my stuff and I'll Cover Angel and Collins' stuff together but it was past midnight while I was finishing up and I had to get up at seven this morning. My bad. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this (and cringed at this as well… that one is for all practical purposes guaranteed).**

**ELIMINATED: Anne Maria, Courtney, Owen.**


	5. Chapter 5

**As usual, this fic is either going to make you laugh or cringe… the latter of the two the most likely, which could happen even if the former happens. So… ENJOY!**

* * *

The boys were in the kitchen getting ready to scrub the floor. Gordon was looking over them, looking like a ticking time bomb that's about to explode at any given second.

"ALRIGHT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! IT'S TIME TO GRAB THE FUCKING SUPPLIES AND GET SCRUBBING! YOU BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP!" Gordon screamed. The men quickly scrambled towards the press where the apparatus was stored. Trent grabbed all nine of the mops.

"Hey, hey, hey! What's the big frickin' idea?!" Scott demanded.

"I have to have all nine brooms to please the Ninth God!" Trent glared.

"How about you give me seven of those brooms so I could please the Seventh God?" Noah teased. "The number seven said he'd do all the cleaning."

"It is physically impossible for a number to mop the floor!" Harold corrected Noah. "GOSH! You're such an imbecile, Noah! IDIOT!"

"NO, THE NUMBER NINE WANTS TO SCRUB THE FLOOR NINE TIMES!" Trent screamed.

"Well, I tried," Noah shrugged. "Oh well, at least the rest of us can just sit on our arses and do what we want."

"OH NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU FUCKING GOBSHITES!" Gordon snarled. "EVERYONE HAS TO CONTRIBUTE, OR ELSE EVERYONE WILL HAVE ALL OF THEIR FUCKING FINGERS CUT OFF!"

"Then what are we supposed to scrub the floor with?" Duncan demanded.

"YOU FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT!" Gordon snarled. Sam sighed and grabbed a dish towel. So did everyone else.

"I'LL BE BACK IN FIVE BLOODY MINUTES!" Gordon roared. "IF THIS WHOLE PLACE ISN'T SPOTLESS BY THE TIME I GET BACK, WOE BETIDE THE LOT OF YA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Gordon ran out of the kitchen screaming like a maniac. The males shuddered at the thought of not having the floor clean. They all got on their knees and proceeded to scrub. After two minutes, however, the whole floor was clean. Trent did a very good job mopping the floor nine times in 81 seconds.

That was until Brick peed in the corner.

"Why the fuck did you piss on the floor?!" Duncan yelled.

"Don't yell at me!" Brick sobbed. "Number 9 can you please help me?!"

"No, the number 9 only helps me!" Trent screamed.

"That's a really shitty god then!" Noah laughed. "Harold, go lick the piss up before Gordon comes back!"

* * *

Meanwhile back in the girls' cell area, Gwen was missing Courtney so badly. LeShawna was getting annoyed and everyone just wanted Gwen to shut the fuck up.

"LeShawna, I wrote a poem about Courtney." Gwen smiled. "Do you want to hear it? It's about how Courtney smells like flowers and how her favorite food in the world for Breakfast is Bananas! Did you know that Courtney eats 5 slices of Banana in her cereal every day!? I bet nobody else knew that!"

"I did!" Sierra yelled and giggled.

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY COURTNEY!" Gwen snapped at Sierra.

"ONLY AS LONG AS YOU STAY AWAY FROM CODY AND CAMERON!" Sierra snapped back.

"Both of you are crazy," Heather groaned. "Shut the fuck up already!"

"NEVER!" Sierra and Gwen screamed in unison.

"Will somebody please make them shut up?!" Bridgette demanded. "I can't rape Staci with Gwen and Sierra roaring over Staci's bullshit!"

"Yeah, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother invented bullshit," Staci fibbed, obviously oblivious to what the surfer chick was doing to her. "Before that, bulls just kept getting fatter and fatter."

"Girl, you'd know I want to shut Gwen up, but no matter how many times I hit her, she won't stop annoying me," LeShawna rolled her eyes. All of a sudden, LeShawna noticed Gwen and Sierra in the cell across from LeShawna's cell.

"How did you white girls get over here?" LeShawna demanded.

"Izzy brought them there against their will," Izzy chirped. "And now we're going to have a foursome!"

"Will you kidnap Cody and Cameron and make it a six-some?" Sierra asked.

"Okay, Izzy will be right back," Izzy laughed.

"No, I don't want to have sex with Cody!" Gwen protested. "It's bad enough that I can't have Courtney, but shagging Cody is drawing the line!"

"So it's settled: you'll shift at one side of the pile and Cody and Cameron will shift at the other end," said Sierra.

"Wait, don't I get a say in this?" Beth asked. Sierra and Gwen ignored her.

* * *

Things were still hectic in the kitchen.

"Did you know that urine is cleaner than regular water before it passes out through the urethra?" Harold asked.

"That's great to know, Harold," Noah replied, disgusted. "Now go lick it off. Gordon will be pissed if he sees all that piss on the floor."

"I'm not going near that," Harold glared. "Once urine passes out through the urethra, it becomes unhealthy and potentially dangerous to drink! IDIOT! Curse your idiocy for not knowing that! And did you know that urine is composed of 98% water?" Harold added.

"Yep, we're pretty much fucked," Noah rolled his eyes.

"This is some tasty lemonade," Tyler slurped.

"Tyler, what are you doing?" DJ asked.

"Licking the lemonade off the floor," Tyler replied, as if the answer was obvious. "I mean, who would spill some perfectly good lemonade?" he questioned, finishing off the last of Brick's piss.

"That's Brick's piss, dumbass," Scott scoffed.

Tyler stopped licking his lips. "Oh," said Tyler, "no wonder it tasted a bit off."

"At least it's gone now," Noah commented. He sniffed.

"Okay, who farted?" Noah demanded.

Everyone turned to see a piece of shit lying on the floor. Brick's pants were still down, and blackish-brown gunk can be seen between his arse cheeks.

"That's it!" Noah yelled to the cameras. "Chef! Get in here! I'm so quitting this show!"

Chef barged in and glared at Noah, he ran up to Noah and picked him up and slammed him face first into Brick's pile of shit causing everyone else to look away in disgust.

"Brick! Pull your fucking pants up!" Chef yelled. "Noah, you're not allowed to quit this game! Do you know what happens to quitters?! They get a face full of shit! Let that be a lesson to you all! Now you're all going to your cells for the fucking night so I can go smoke pot and jerk off to the shower you took earlier that I recorded!"

"What?" Mal asked.

"NOTHING!" Chef pushed Mal. "Now let's go! Everyone back to their cells."

"Can I take a shower?" Noah asked. "I think I got shit in my mouth."

"NO!" Chef yelled. "That's what happens to quitters Noah!"

All of a sudden, Gordon stormed into the kitchen with a machete, having heard about Brick's shit. He was livid.

"THAT'S IT YOU MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS!" Gordon bellowed. "I'VE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU LOT!" He closed the door shut.

And locked it.

Then he raised his machete.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Gordon pounced on Justin and began attacking him mercilessly. Noah, Alejandro, Cody, Cameron, Geoff, Mal, Duncan and Sam sneaked out of the kitchen and ran off. Noah and Alejandro booked into the shower-room (Alejandro needed to get cleaned after Tyler threw up on him). Sam, Duncan and Mal ran off to their cells where Sam had a wank over Dakotazoid and Mal fucked Duncan's brains out. Geoff decided to molest Cameron and Cody in the closet after trapping them in there until Izzy showed up and took Cody and Cameron away. Geoff got pissed and decided to molest Noah and Alejandro in the shower-room instead.

Chef managed to apprehend Gordon by sedating him with a syringe containing a sleep-inducing drug he carries around with him. After finding out that eight male inmates were missing, Chef barged into the shower-room.

"You bastards!" Chef scowled. "Don't cha have any respect for authority?!"

"Don't you have any respect for human dignity?!" Noah demanded. "You shoved me in deep shit!"

"It didn't help that Geoff decided to 'Izzy' us!" Alejandro added, scowling at Geoff.

"That's it!" Chef scowled. "I'm gonna rape all three of ya! Right here! Right now!"

"There is only one of me," Geoff quickly said, shoving Alejandro and Noah out of the room and locking the door. "But I'm all you need," Geoff added. Then he pounced on Chef.

* * *

Back at the girls cell area Gwen was crying loudly and playing with herself because she couldn't have Courtney, by this time everyone was now sick of Gwen's constant whining and complaining that they all wish they had earplugs, Izzy brought Cameron and Cody over and Sierra was going down on both of them while they were calling to Blaineley for help. When Blaineley walked in, saw what happened, she laughed and walked out while slamming the door shut. Once the doors shut Zoey happily started yelling to Cameron.

"Cameron!" Zoey yelled. "Can you tell Mike I miss him?! I hope he misses me!"

"He doesn't!" Cody yelled back. "He's been fucking Duncan's asshole that it's almost stretched out!"

"Oh and he's going by Mal now!" Cameron added in. "Oh god Sierra! Don't put your finger in the-Ouch!"

"I just wish Courtney was here!" Gwen sobbed. "She would have loved this so much!"

"Courtney would want to see a threesome between me, Cam and Cody?!" Sierra yelled. "Get back here Cody!"

"Gwen, if you don't shut up I'm going to come over there and kill you!" Jo yelled. "I've been sharpening this rock I found but I'm tempted to bash your face in with it!"

* * *

The next morning, Chef and Geoff were still in the shower-room. Everyone else in the prison was standing outside waiting to take a piss.

"LET ME OUT!" Chef commanded. "AND WHAT'S WITH THE CHAINS?!"

"To chain you to the shower rack, duh," Geoff shrugged. "Doesn't that turn you on?"

"NOT WHEN IT'S FUCKING FORCED ON ME!" Chef barked.

"You're so hot when you're pissed off," Geoff smiled, bending down to lick Chef's dick. Normally, this would turn Chef on, but it didn't. Chef just didn't like Geoff. At all.

"What is wrong with you?!" Chef demanded.

"I need to have sex fifty times a day," Geoff explained. "So when Bridgette is not around, I'll have to shift someone else. Oh, and before I forget, I'll need you to put on this blond wig," he added, putting the wig on Chef's head before the guard could protest.

That's when Gordon tore the door down.

"YOU FUCKING EEJITS!" Gordon howled. "WASTING ALL THAT GODDAMN WATER!"

"Uh-oh," Geoff and Chef hugged each other as Gordon lunged for them.

* * *

Back in Chris's bedroom/Security Cameras Courtney was watching the camera while Chris was applying more hair gel.

"Chris..." Courtney looked at the camera. "Uh Chef and Geoff are in danger, can you cut the crap with the hair gel?!"

"Do you know what would be a good idea?" Chris smirked. "Maybe I can gel up your pussy hair."

"Maybe you can if nobody dies." Courtney glared. "Send someone to help them!"

"Alright fine." Chris sighed. "I'll tell Blaineley to give him to Dakotazoid and every time he attacks someone Dakotazoid can like smash him up against a wall or something."

"How is that solving the problem?" Courtney glared. "Chris, you're so boring when you're up here in this tiny room, I feel like I'm your fucking prisoner! I can't even leave this place and you're starting to get on my nerves."

"Courtney come here." Chris sat on his bed and smirked as Courtney walked over.

"What?" Courtney walked over to Chris where he stuck his hand down her pants and inserted it slowly in and out of her hole. "Oh god...That's good...I want you...now?"

"Nope." Chris pulled out his hand and walked over to the door. "I think I'm going to assign another challenge and I'll make a bet with you. If the guys win this time then I'll fuck you when I get back and if the girls win...I bring Gwen here for the night and watch her have at you in this tiny little room..."

"EW! No FUCKING way!" Courtney flinched. "I don't want that fucking boyfriend-kisser up here! In fact, I'm not even comfortable living in the same COUNTRY as her," Courtney added.

"I didn't say you couldn't use a weapon of defence," Chris smirked.

"Deal," Courtney shrugged. "If Gwen does come up here make sure that will be the only time she does" Courtney warned. "I've heard about her trying to do that sick stuff to me."

"That is one thing you'll be certain of," Chris assured Courtney. "Having Gwen around here would suck balls. I'm not sure how Trent and Duncan lived with her."

"Trent wanted to date someone with nine letters in their name, and Duncan was in it for the sex," Courtney snickered.

* * *

Before Gordon could maim Chef or Geoff in anyway, Eva barged in to the shower room with fire in her eyes.

"WHERE IS MY DINNER?! SOMEBODY'D BETTER FUCKING TELL ME!" Eva bellowed.

"SHUT DAFUQ UP! CAN'T CHA BLOODY SEE I'M TRYING TO FUCKING BUTCHER THOSE CUNTS?!" Gordon bellowed back.

Eva snapped the machete out of Gordon's hand and threw it out the window. Geoff and Chef ran off to hide.

"I... want... my... dinner... NOW!" Eva screamed.

"How the fuck do these people keep getting out of their cells?!" Chef yelled at Eva. "Seriously bitch! Go back to your god damn cell and you wait for fucking challenges and meals! Do you understand me?!" Chef stopped and turned around. "I'm not dealing with this shit! I'm getting those tranquil balls that we have left from that safari game in season three!"

"You know you like me." Geoff grabbed Chef's balls and Chef slapped him.

"No!" Chef glared. "I'm taking fucking control around here! I'm getting tranquil balls and the fucking first people that are getting them are you, Geoff! And then after you get one Gwen's fucking getting one!"

"I...WANT...DINNER..." Eva yelled louder.

"Yeah, I only deal with contestants that have penises." Chef smirked. "Gordon, you'll need to talk to Blaineley about this one..."

Chef quickly slammed Geoff's head into the wall, knocking him out while Eva started to gnaw on Gordon's arm. Thankfully Geoff was out cold so Chef was getting protection for himself and he was going to make Chris, Courtney or whoever the fuck could keep these assholes in the cells until they were supposed to be released.

* * *

Chef was in Chris's room with Chris and Blaineley and of course Courtney.

"What the fuck is she still doing here?" Blaineley pointed to Courtney.

"Forget about that." Chef glared. "Listen here Chris, these assholes can't just go wherever the fuck they want! You said they would be in cells so you need to fucking fix it so they can't get out until I let them the fuck out! It's becoming chaotic and I can't even see what everyone is doing!"

"Don't forget about Izzy digging tunnels because Blaineley is not responsible." Courtney pointed to the cameras. "Did anyone know she brought Cameron and Cody into the girls' area?!"

"Wait...that happened?" Blaineley asked. "Oh Fuck..."

"You people are horrible at keeping order." Courtney laughed.

"Okay fine..." Chris side. "You can have the fucking tranquil balls and I'll bring in a fucking nurse so you don't have to touch blood..."

"AND PISS!" Chef yelled. "I'm demanding at least 6 pairs of extra pants for Brick to change into! He can go get new pants there because he's a disgusting fuck and is going to grow up to be a whiny sissy ass man-child."

"Alright fine." Chris sighed. "I guess I'll look at the cells and see how we can fix them only if you let me do one thing...Can I stick my finger in Heather? I always wanted to do it, it's been on my bucket list since season one but then Courtney distracted me with her boobs but now that I can titty fuck her boobs whenever I want, Courtney's boring and now I really just want to finger Heather for like 5 minutes? What do you say Blaineley?"

"I could care less." Blaineley laughed. "Bitch has a nail file though so watch..."

"Excuse you?" Courtney glared. "You gave me a ring, Chris!"

"Yeah, I know and if you want to keep it I guess you'll spice up your seduction routine..." Chris smirked. "Now, I'm going to deal with this issue that Chef and Blaineley are having but I'll be back and you be a good girl and entertain yourself or find ways to entertain me...

"How about you just put a wig that looks like Heather's hair on me instead?" Courtney suggested. "I'm pretty sure Sierra has one of those."

"Let's see how it goes this evening then," Chris smirked. "Later!" He left along with Blaineley and Chef, leaving Courtney alone to go on Wikipedia.

* * *

"Okay everyone, because I am lazy I'm going to just give everyone an easy challenge," Chris backed. All of the inmates were cuffed to their chairs.

"So what's the challenge?" Noah deadpanned. "And why the fuck are we all restrained?!" he demanded.

"Because I am awesome!" Chris boasted.

"That didn't make any sense," Noah rolled his eyes.

"Well it's not my problem," Chris shrugged. "Anyway, your challenge is to climb down that staircase over there." Chris pointed at the staircase nearby. There were enough steps to go from the basement to the attic in a three-storey building.

"We are restrained," Bridgette glared.

"Exactly!" Chris laughed. "Your challenge begins... now!"

"ALRIGHT! TO THE EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!" Tyler shouted as he dragged himself and the chair to the top of the stairs. "TO THE EXTRE-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Tyler fell down the stairs.

"Ooh, fun!" Izzy laughed, breaking free of her restraints and shoving the rest of the males down the stairs.

"Ow," Noah deadpanned.

"SHA-LIGHTNING SHA-CAN'T SHA-FEEL SHA-HIS SHA-LEGS! SHA-LIGHTNING SHA-CAN'T SHA-FEEL SHA-HIS SHA-LEGS!" Lighting whimpered.

"That's because you're feeling MY legs," Alejandro rolled his eyes. "Now you're feeling my dick. Please let go."

"Males win!" Chris announced. "But because only a dude can get voted out tonight the females still win."

Eva was livid. "SO ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS CHALLENGE WAS POINTLESS?!" she shrieked.

"Nope," Chris laughed. "I still got some enjoyment out of it."

"Of course you did," Dawn rolled her eyes.

"Okay, so let's get down to voting!" Chris yelled. "Chef! Hand something out for the boys to write on."

"Alright! Maggot, here you go!" Chef threw napkins at the guys. "Make sure you save those! I'm cutting of your toilet paper supply so that's what you're going to have to use for the next 2 days!"

When everyone was done voting, chef snatched them from their hands and read the votes and read them before sighing.

"Okay, I have 5 votes for Cody, 7 for Brick and 3 votes for the Number 9 and one vote for the number 7 and since we can't vote out numbers that means that Brick it looks like you're going home buddy."

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Brick sobbed. "I should have immunity! Chef do something! Wahhhhh!"

"I only help DJ." Chef shrugged.

"Girls, for winning the challenge I'm sending one of you for a reward." Chris smirked.

"I vote LeShawna for keeping Gwen quiet." Heather smirked.

"I also agree that it should be LeShawna." Dawn smiled. "She's been helpful lately."

"LeShawna doesn't want Cody so I think that would be nice for her." Sierra agreed.

"You don't pick, Gwen come with me." Chris laughed. "I have a little surprise for you, you'll see the other girls tomorrow at Breakfast. Let's go."

As Chris walked off with Gwen, Zoey ran over to Mike and hugged him.

"Mike, I missed you so much!" Zoey threw herself at Mike. "I love you!"

"Get off of me." Mal pushed Zoey away. "What did I tell you? I'm fucking Duncan now."

"Oh but Mike, I know you're still in there!" Zoey kissed him.

"No, he's not." Duncan sighed. "He's been raping me now for days. Mike is gone, I wish he'd come back though so I can stop being raped and have a good night sleep."

* * *

"Okay Gwen, just go up that flight of stairs and open the door." Chris assured Gwen. "I'm right behind you and I'm just going to lock the door behind us..."

"I'm not going to run, you don't need to lock the door." Gwen assured him.

"Oh, it's not you I'm worried about." Chris chucked as Gwen opened the door and Chris quickly locked the door behind him. "Courtney, I'm back."

"Courtney!" Gwen ran up to her and shoved her face in Courtney's cleavage. "Your boobs are just as soft as I remember."

"Gwen will be staying the night with us, Court." Chris smirked. "My bed is big enough for the three of us, but I need to check my email so you two can lay down or whatever..."

"I fucking hate you so much, Chris." Courtney glared.

"I love you too, Court," Chris laughed. "Have fun you two while I go off to finish some paper work!" He left the room and closed the door shut.

"So let's go have some sex!" Gwen chirped. "I can't wait to bite the edges of your snatch and lick your cervix with the tip of my tongue!"

"Aw, fuck!" Courtney groaned.

* * *

**Jesus it's been well over two weeks since this fic has been updated. Just a bit of college I've been dealing with and I'll Cover Angel and Collins was busy as well. But we finally got to update this. I'll try to work on my other fics as well, because they desperately need some maintenance.**

**Eliminated: Anne Maria, Courtney, Owen and Brick.**


End file.
